not again

I wish I knew how to love or be loved. I suck at difficult things and saying no to anyone.

That's all.

I seriously heart this kid....

A little band called Sugarcult once wrote this great
song called WorstTo December, and some of the things it says in it
remind me of Chris. Actually, every beautiful song reminds me of
this guy, I am dying just to hug him each day. (It's actually a
saddish song, but these words make me think of him...)


"All I wanna do is lie in bed with you
All I really ever need is you
It's a different day

1500 miles away
Why would you want to stay?

All I wanna do is lie in bed with you
All I really ever need is you

All I really need is you
I'm waiting here for you"

And he said the sweetest, most poetic thing to me tonight: "I missed you... I have missed you all of my life, that's 18 years and 2 months..." I was speechless, and I bet you are reading this, you are beautiful.

muah!

Wonderful



Dorks... hehehe



His myspace mugshot... looks like a pro-hottie, I know.

So Alive

Music makes me who I am, it makes my feeling. I am in such a chill mood right now, as I have been all day. I got my hair cut today, if I knew how to post a pic, I would. It looked bad at first, but now that I have spiffied it all up it looks better. After the cut, I went to Bigfoot Lacrosse and got my $66 pair of goggles, how expensive... it sucks. I think I should start a lacrosse store out here, people would come and it would make money, but I am too lame. Anyway, after that I went home and Jazz came over and brought her little puppy named scout. We took him for a walk around my block and this little fat girl yells at us "Hey, I thought those were two boys!!!" because Jazz has always had her hair short and now mine is. This little girl's parents were standing right behind her laughing... so I yelled back... heh... some of the things I won't repeat, but I was like "I'm not deaf, idiot. Why don't you shut up?" And it made me feel good because I know where they live and they don't know where I live. Tomorrow I'm egging that house because they let their dumb daughter talk crap to perfect strangers. What if I was going to give them a million dollars? Or what if I was mentally unstable and had a gun? People these days have no respect for others. After that, Chris came over and checked out my hair and hung out for like 3 hours. It was fun. Now I am about to eat dinner and then I am off to Sean Harrington's because he wants to see my hair, and I love hanging out with him. I don't know what we'll do though. Then after that, I might roll on over to Lisa's so she can check out my hair-do... and then I have an indoor soccer game at 9:20. I think I might play a couple games if anyone needs me. I need to go eat and drink water. But yeah, moral of the story: I had a CHILL day! <3